How does that lame quote go again? We accept the love we think we deserve? It makes sense that you wanted to mean something to someone, to feel loved and needed. That’s what we all want even if we don’t admit it, isn’t it? But it’s good that you’re focused on yourself and what you need now instead of who you need. But if anyone can do it I know it’s you. Honestly you’re one of the strongest people I know. And one of the first i’ve known to actually get out of here and try making something of themselves. So if you couldn’t do it then i’d have very little hope for the rest of us. Besides, I hear doing things you fear is a good thing. It’s supposed to be mean that what you’re doing is worth it and that you’ll conquer it because you don’t let it hold you back no matter what.
Thanks, Pops. I’m really hoping that I’m past the worst of it all and that there’s only good things ahead right now, but after everything it’s just scary sometimes trying to imagine that. The good times are stuff I don’t want to second guess anymore.
Well they do say college is where you’re supposed to find yourself, right? For some people that’s getting tied down but for you it seems like it’s the opposite. Why terrifying though? It’s not like you need anyone to take care of you, you’re pretty badass all on your own.
It’s hard to explain I guess… It’s just- I was on my own for so long. I had my mom and my uncles but that’s not really what you want when you’re younger, and when I got to Rosewood I thought, okay, this is it. This is where I find the people I’ll stick with. And I did, to an extent. I had my friends and I had Mason, and I was in love, and that was great. But it got bad and it sucked for a long time, but I still had someone there who wanted me, which sounds horrible but it’s like a safety blanket, I guess. And then I met Presley and he was everything I needed at the time. He was sweet and kind, and I fell for him… really fast. And again, it felt like a safe place to land, but it wasn’t fair to make him that and when it ended I kind of fell apart. Then I had a few other guys, which was nice, it was good to feel wanted during that period of being a complete mess but then Colton said he loved me and that was terrifying because I was… I don’t even know. I was completely lost. Still am, a little bit. And I’m done feeling sorry for myself and I’m done making people be my support but after years of it, it’s hard to just start depending solely on yourself.
Good. Cause I was about ready to call Maury or Dr. Phil in case it was about to become an addiction. But that makes total sense. Especially since you’ve pretty much been in a relationship for as long as i’ve known you. You deserve to have some time to just you especially if it helps you find yourself.
Yeah, since freshman year basically I’ve been with someone or been interested in someone. It’s kind of nice to actually have some time to myself. Slightly terrifying but you know, still nice.
Are crazy dog ladies not a thing?
They probably are but I will not be one. I’m just… taking a break from dating right now. I had some really good guys and some really nice memories but for now, me time is just fine.
Okay, good point. I just don’t wanna see you become a crazy cat lady Avery. You’re too good for that.
Oh don’t worry about that. I’d sooner get a dog.